Feeling like I'm Peter Pan, minus the tights and the fairies.

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this picture is a perfect summary of what we did together today. except, wow. no. not like that. what?! haha, whatever. the MAIN POINT is that iii know what i mean.

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this afternoon was perfect. i missed him a lot.

we drove around and stopped at all our old favourite shops. bought a whole box of halloween chocolates and shared. spoke in innuendos at the cash about what we'd do in the car together since we'd have some time to kill (we received funny looks for that), and at his house, his mom yelled at me for leaving my glasses on the floor by the entrance. she said she was sorry for being harsh, but that i was like a daughter to her and she was going to treat me as such. felt so nice to hear that.

my clothes smell like him now, or like his house. home. it's keeping me relaxed. and sleeepy.

i'm glad we got to talk. he's so good for that,
and he's the only one i know will never judge me. i feel lucky.

I've been refreshing your page every five minutes for the past six hours. Someone save me from this.

I'm just waiting for this all to subside.

Maybe when the room is empty, maybe when the bottle's full, maybe when I'm done with thinking, maybe you can think me whole.

I just had a beyond lovely nap. Yeah, I know. Who would have thought? I hate naps.

It was a very weird one though, and I kept waking up because of the sounds of people talking and moving around in the house. I think my neighbours are in my kitchen right now, but I don't have the energy to check. I hear their voices though.

I dreamt when I napped. It was very choppy because I kept waking up.

There were three main players involved, all of which I spent some time with today. I got to kiss one before it was through. We were all in a coffee shop, picking up ... well, I don't even know! But I bought ice cream. Like a whole tub full.

Earlier, you'd hurt your foot playing soccer, and I'd let your heel rest in my hands, rubbing my thumbs softly along your ankles in attempts to make you feel better; to make me feel better. We kept glancing furtively at each other the entire night, just like today. You had to go though because on of your friends had a ringuette game to go to and it had been planned that you were to watch.

We were standing face to face, off to the side of the coffee shop line-up. Not a romantic scene at all, but it was oddly quiet. Quiet just for us. Just for that moment. So, in a way it was very romantic.

You said, "So, this is goodbye?" And we both leaned in for the kiss; instinctive, anticipated.
It was so warm and soft, and right.
I wanted to grab onto the fabric of your black pea coat and keep you there.
But our lips parted, and we smiled coyly at one another because we could see the bustle of the coffee shop uninterrupted all around us. No one had seen.
We walked to the door, and you adopted her stride, fantastic locks of hair whipping around as you turned to give me one last look.

It was so good. But please get the fuck out of my head.

'cause i'm still here breathing now

i'm about to fll asleep. if i misspress the keys, forgive me.
i saw her today. and everyone.
a lot of people/
shouldn't have tried to fit everyone in. i knew this would be a dsiappointment
it;s a good thing i got to see brandon. so innocent, so happy. it was good to be around that.

drew and i went for italian after school and we talked about girl problems (harhar). i'm so exaused i cant keep my eyes open. i jst know its been a while and im sorry.
i cannot belie ve all that i've been going through lately. none of it is fair. nothing is ever fair.

the food exchange was kind of cute, if you want to see it that way
xx
well i hope it was cute


bed until 10PM. night.

Warm me up and breathe me.

oh my god.
i don't even know where to begin. i'm so happy.
so happy and so nervous.
so unsure.
i'm so every-adjective-there-is-in-the-world.
i'm just all of it , and it's brilliant.


i will get back to you on this one later, blog. but for now, just be content with knowing that i'm content.

terribly behind on my schoolwork, yes; but also terribly content!
this is just so new, and it's new for her too.
it's just good to know i'm not alone in this and that i can feel comfortable about it all.
i want this to work.

i really only thought this was an idea to flirt with. maybe to play around with. at parties. drunk.
but no, this is civilized and real. this is frightening and beautiful. this is rebglrtbnfdvafd;lbb;sv,/



goodnight then,
x

This is to a girl who got into my head with all the pretty things she did. Hey, you know, you keep me up in bed.

we hugged when you came off the train, and we rubbed shoulders all throughout the night. that's about it really.
yet somehow your scent still lingers on me. it's all around me in my room.
maybe i'm just imagining it. i don't know. but you smelled so good.
x