seriously, every time i finish talking with kelsey, i realize how much of a sad waste of energy, emotion, and time natalie is. she's so fucking immature and unaware. nothing she says means anything.

our whole relationship, post-lapsarian, can be summed up in sad songs and tumblr pictures. is that pathetic or is that pathetic?
i'm sick of the cliches. i love gaining new perspective from kelsey. she's so off doing her own thing that talking to her is like a breath of fresh air.


also, why do i feel the need to make natalie aware of the fact that i'm writing or that i'm sad or that i'm thinking about her? she doesn't deserve that.
i know i had feelings for her, and i know she was my First, for many experiences, but that's all that is. that's it.
i have to stop giving a shit. she's not worth what i'm going through. she doesn't deserve the ability to inflict such pain upon a person. not in the slightest.