Sunday, September 13, 2009

Just leave me your wake to remember you by.



This is not my picture - I didn't take it. But this is a statement which sums up my life and pretty much just rips me apart at the seams.

I don't know that there is much else to talk about tonight. I wrote my longest post for you already... was it only this morning? Oh man. Well, yes. So.


We'll do a point-form summary of how things are for me right now then (even though the above picture does a good job on its own):
  • I miss my a.e to an unreasonable degree. I wish we could be talking every night again like we used to. I guess life just gets in the way of things like this. I hate distance. I hate the twisted proximity. I hate lies. I hate truth. I hate lust. I hate love.
  • I wish I wasn't so helpless to those who gave but a glance in my direction.
  • I wish I wasn't so confused about things.
  • I need motivation of any sort in my life, because I know I can't succeed if I don't have anything helping me along. I need something.

Anyway, that's pretty much it. I'm listening to Boats & Birds by Gregory & the Hawk on repeat. This song reminds me of Sunmi, because 2 years ago, when our friendship was at its peak, she loved the artist. She's gone to North Carolina now. Which isn't a big deal, because before she was living in New York, so it's not like the long distance bit is the hard part. It's just so different. She wasn't allowed to take any of her cats with her.
I miss her terribly. I miss so much right now. It SUCKS. Haha.



So I'll take my shower and begin homework now I think. It's already 11pm and I was supposed to not let this happen again. It's this new thing with MSN that just keeps me on it all night long. Well. Sort of.
I don't know.


Sometimes I think I'm too open on the internet. Too open in general, in fact. It will probably be the death of me.


xxx
night

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