i hate feeling like i'm annoying. it's probably one of the worst feelings ever.
but i also happen to over-think things a lot too, so i could just be imagining this all in my head.
UGH.
This seriously feels like a.e all over again. I wrote something about this in my Moleskine this morning on the train when I was feeling shitty. Actually I wasn't really feeling shitty, I just honestly couldn't get this person off my mind... so as a result I sort of felt lonely and helpless. I hate that feeling so much.
& this is also exactly what happened with a.e when we first started talking two years ago. This exact series of emotional experiences! First nothing, then harmless curiosity, then amusement, then I begin to take interest, then I'm always thinking about them, then I feel like I'm putting them on a pedestal because I think about them more than I see them, then I'm constantly yearning for their attention and company, and then I collapse in a bout of confusion and stress-induced fatigue! ...
AHAHAHA, ohhhh lord. I hope this case doesn't escalate as badly though!
I really think I have some sort of complex.
Mostly though I'm just going through a very confusing part of my life.
Very. Confusing.
xxx
but i also happen to over-think things a lot too, so i could just be imagining this all in my head.
UGH.
This seriously feels like a.e all over again. I wrote something about this in my Moleskine this morning on the train when I was feeling shitty. Actually I wasn't really feeling shitty, I just honestly couldn't get this person off my mind... so as a result I sort of felt lonely and helpless. I hate that feeling so much.
& this is also exactly what happened with a.e when we first started talking two years ago. This exact series of emotional experiences! First nothing, then harmless curiosity, then amusement, then I begin to take interest, then I'm always thinking about them, then I feel like I'm putting them on a pedestal because I think about them more than I see them, then I'm constantly yearning for their attention and company, and then I collapse in a bout of confusion and stress-induced fatigue! ...
AHAHAHA, ohhhh lord. I hope this case doesn't escalate as badly though!
I really think I have some sort of complex.
Mostly though I'm just going through a very confusing part of my life.
Very. Confusing.
xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment